


Confetti Cupcake

by JustAnotherFlightlessBird



Series: Of Bees and Butter [2]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Again, Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon Gay Relationship, Family Dynamics, Fluff, Kevin and Raymond being dads, Kid Fic, M/M, No Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:48:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24037636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAnotherFlightlessBird/pseuds/JustAnotherFlightlessBird
Summary: Kevin and Holt have been babysitting Jake for a few weeks now; they are quite comfortable with the routine, and are even growing fond of the boy.Unfortunately, it becomes clear they are no longer needed when Roger Peralta comes into the picture, ready- after all this time- to be a father after long abandoning the post.How can they say no to that? After all, they are not his parents.
Relationships: Gina Linetti & Jake Peralta, Jake Peralta & Amy Santiago, Kevin Cozner/Ray Holt
Series: Of Bees and Butter [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1733965
Comments: 46
Kudos: 265





	1. Chapter 1

Raymond Holt stood in the supermarket and contemplated -with some level of shame- two different flavours of pop tarts that he held in his hand. 

"Confetti... Cupcake" He regarded in his right hand.

"Printed Fun... Gingerbread" He tossed in his left.

He said both with a careful pronounced precision, as though he could derive the correct answer from their syntax alone. He loathed to have to do this, but- seeing as he was already here- Officer Holt _refused_ to make the wrong decision. 

"Just pick one and let's leave, Raymond; before someone sees us in this isle" His husband, Kevin, chimes from behind him. His voice is as emotionless and monotone as ever, but Holt could hear the small lull of impatience in his partner's slight foot tapping. 

"Which do you think Jake will like better?" He asks, turning the two disgustingly bright coloured boxes towards Kevin with a flourish of his hands. Well, to him and Kevin it was a flourish, to any outsider it was just a mechanical twist of the wrist. 

Kevin gazed on at them with distaste, "They both have an absolutely preposterous and unhealthy amount of sugar, so I'm sure he'd be happy with either, Raymond" 

Holt tilted them back towards him and contemplated them for another moment. 

"You're right" He said, and threw in Confetti Cupcake. Kevin covertly tried to cover the package under a packet of Lima beans, but it didn't quite work.

"Let's get back before Karen has to leave for another shift, I hate to leave that boy alone" 

Kevin looked at Holt with surprise at the absolutely crude public show of affection.

"Because, I'm sure he'll make a terrible mess in the hallway if we don't get there in time" Raymond adds, deliberately slowly. Kevin sees through it completely but says nothing, nodding in agreement and following his husband to the checkout.

They'd been allowing Jake Peralta -their neighbour Karen's rambunctious 11 year old- to reside at their house whilst his mother was at work for 3 weeks now, and Raymond seemed to have quickly grown attached.

Perhaps, Kevin had too. 

Though, he loathed to admit that such an undignified boy- a boy that many of his friends at the University would turn their nose up at- had managed to integrate itself into Kevin's good graces.

'I mean, the boy has managed to weave himself into our _grocery list,_ of all things' he thought incredulously. 

For a few days now, Jake had been unsatisfied with the dinners Raymond and Kevin cooked for him.

More often than not, he fiddled around in his plate, before loudly exclaiming he wasn't hungry, and wrestling himself out of his chair to go and play with Cheddar.

It frustrated- and worried- Kevin and Raymond to a point, who knew Jake was a growing boy and almost definitely _didn't_ get the nutrients he needed to stay healthy from the microwave meals Karen stocked up on frequently. 

It was hardly their place to discipline the boy for not eating their food, though, so the two of them had come up with a plan.

Simply put, they were to bribe the boy with the promise of pop tarts as dessert; they'd tell him he could have them, so long as he finished the food they'd made for him first.

It was hardly ideal, and Kevin loathed to watch the boy eat something so bad for him, but it was the only way they were going to get him to eat anything proper.

"One of these things is not like the other" The cashier sing-songs with a chuckle.

She was a plump woman, with a jolly flush to her cheeks and a name tag that read 'Alice'. Kevin looked down in confusion to find she was motioning towards the pop tarts in the sea of bland vegetables and graham crackers.

"Yes" Raymond responded, good natured, "But, I suppose it's always good to... _liven_ things up" 

He shares a secret smile Kevin; or rather, a look that to them was as good as a smile in public.

* * *

When they finally reached their apartment, Kevin and Raymond were expecting to see Karen bustling about impatiently, late and frantic, trying to find the shoes she'd misplaced, as usual. 

Or, perhaps, Jake and Gina, or even perhaps Charles Boyle, playing a game of cops and robbers in the hallway. 

Instead, what they found when they finally exited the elevator, was Karen and Jake standing outside their own door with a mysterious new man, who seemed to be listening to them talk quietly.

Holt and Kevin shared a look, and began walking through to their apartment, expecting Karen to pull herself from her conversation to hand them over Jake as they walked passed.

Raymond, especially, walked with a certain fervour; it seemed he was eager to implement their pop tart plan and see if it worked.

As they approached, Karen's voice became more clear as she spoke, "Oh, and he's allergic to bees, so don't spend too long around the flowers in the park, and don't let him anywhere near the lake, because he can't swim, and if he asks for ice cream just say yes, because he-" 

She was pulled from her rant, as expected, when Holt and Kevin walked passed, and they both looked at her with silent question.

"Kevin! Raymond!" She said cheerily, maybe a little manically. She seemed flustered, and Holt noticed she was wearing lipstick, which is something he'd never seen her wear before.

Given the nature of the conversation she was just having, and the fact that the man facing her was wearing fishing shorts and a plaid shirt, he also surmised they probably weren't going on a date.

"This is Roger" She introduced airily, "Jake's dad"

"Good heavens" muttered Kevin

The revelation startled both him and Holt, who had never heard any mention of Jake's father before. He was very clearly out of the picture, to an extent, and Jake was so clearly desperate for any sort of father figure they had just assumed he didn't have one at all.

They'd been content not theorising, though, certain that it would never need to come up. Clearly, they were wrong, and they watched the man- Roger- who had his arm resting on Jake's shoulder below him.

Jake, for his part, was beaming up at his father as though he'd hung the moon and stars. Raymond felt a cold swirl of _something_ settle in his gut, but he refused to address it and dismissed it quickly.

The three older men shared quick nods of greeting.

"A pleasure" Smiled the man with charm. 

"Good news, Roger's going to be taking care of Jake for the day"

The implication was clear that it meant that Jake would not be staying over at Raymond and Kevin's today, which was- for all rights and purposes -good news, _especially,_ since this was Holt's day off. 

"Now you two can finally have some time together, without little Jakey running up and down your living room" 

Kevin nodded agreeably.

"Yes, though I expect we'll still need to make space for him at the dinner table tomorrow?"

Holt could hear the question in Kevin's tone, and the- for them- thinly veiled hopefulness. It comforted Raymond greatly to know he wasn't the only one bothered by this revelation. 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Chimes in Roger, though with a rumble of laughter that made the comment sound less hostile, and more friendly. Holt looked over at the man now, instead of Karen.

"My husband just means to know when we should expect to have Jake over again" 

Instead of answering herself, Karen looks over at Roger with a meaningful look. Jake, who had been oddly silent through the entire ordeal, looks up at his father too.

"We'll see how it goes" The man says, unbothered. Holt's lips tighten unpleasantly.

* * *

"So" Holt began, moments into their apartment- the apartment they'd retreated into after watching Karen leave for work, and Roger lead a bouncing Jake off to the park.

"So" Kevin parroted.

They'd planned to start on dinner for Jake right away, and were ready to teach the boy- who had never peeled anything in his life- how to peel potatoes properly.

Kevin and Holt had taken a seminar years ago -on their 7th date, actually- on professional culinary techniques, something they implemented whenever hosting a dinner for their high profile friends.

They had a 3 month plan on things to educate the boy on in order for him to grow to be a respectable high-end character, and that was part of it.

It seemed those plans were kaput though, and the two men sat silently wondering on what they might do now. 

Holt huffed slightly, peeved at the disruption of their perfectly planned schedule- or perhaps, actually, at the fact that Jake wasn't here on the one day Holt wasn't working.

He had very few of those, and Kevin was often the one to be with Jake for most of the day. That's not to say that Jake didn't spend a fair share of time with Holt, who for the last 3 weeks had spent his evenings coming home trying to teach Jake how to play chess and listening to the boy chatter on incessantly about his completely neanderthal interests. 

Karen worked very late most days trying to pay for the rent, only really free on weekends, and it meant that Holt and Kevin, who had surprisingly volunteered themselves the boy's pro bono babysitters, had him over late most evenings.

Logically, Holt knew that the boy's father being here was a good thing; now he could finally spend some time with Kevin, whom he loved and shared his life with. But yet, Holt felt an entirely unwelcome slither of resentment at Roger Peralta for ruining their plans. 

"Don't worry, Raymond" Kevin said, soberly, "I'm sure he won't stay long; from what I gathered, he's not a very present father figure" 

Holt felt a little better at that, though with a small touch of guilt, and walked over to the kitchen with his husband to put away the groceries.

"For now, we can enjoy this time we have together" Holt finishes for him, allowing one of his more tender looks to pass across his face. Kevin glances back at Raymond just as warmly.

They put the packet of pop tarts in the cupboard without much more fuss, and vow to spend the day basking in each other's company rather than worrying over Jake.

* * *

"This is ridiculous!" Bellows Holt, with barely contained frustration, "It's been a week, and he's still here!" 

Roger had been a constant fixture around the apartment since his arrival 8 days ago, and however annoying it was, Kevin could see how much happier Jake seemed for it.

They didn't know much about Jake's father, but his time with Jake seemed to excite the boy beyond glee, who was louder and bouncier than usual in the hallways when they saw him. 

Kevin found he was growing to dislike the small interactions they had with the boy in the corridor- the only place they got to see him anymore- as the boy spent the whole time gushing over his time with Roger.

It was unpleasant to watch, but begrudgingly good for Jake, which was the only reason Kevin wasn't agreeing outright with his husband's not-so-righteous anger.

"The man is an arrogant pilot, who won't teach Jake anything about the intricacies of high culture!" Holt continues, "I _guarantee_ you he's never even _heard_ a cellist live!"

Normally, Raymond would have more resolve and would keep such unpleasant sentiments to himself, but at home, with his husband, and with such a build up of frustrations, Kevin found he was much quicker to expel his bitterness verbally.

"That boy's going to learn more and _more_ unpleasant habits the more time he spends with this- _Roger Peralta"_ He says the name with a distinct slow distaste, and Kevin shakes his head at his antics playfully.

"Really Raymond, you need to stop emotions from ruling over your logic; Roger is the boy's father, and whether we like it or not, it _is_ healthy for Jake to spend time with him"

Holt opened his mouth to continue, but Kevin cut him off.

"And honestly, when did you get so attached to the boy, you let it cloud over what's best for him?" 

This made Raymond halt, and he looked over in surprise at his partner, who was looking at him with scrutiny. Kevin takes pity on him, and stands up to put a hand on Holt's cheek.

"I know you keep saying you don't trust this man, Raymond, but he's Jake's father" 

And then, more soberly he adds, "Besides, this is good; we were worrying over how this would work once school started back up, now it's not ours to worry over"

* * *

It's that same day that the two of them get an unexpected knock on their door. It's shy, but not entirely hesitant and the couple stand from their places on the sofa to peer over at the door curiously.

"Who could possibly be knocking at this hour?" Asks Holt, with a small amount of apprehension. 

They'd been enjoying a studio recording of Carmen (a clandestine guilty pleasure of theirs) and had just gotten to 'L'amour est un oiseu rebelle' when the knocking had come. Raymond was reluctant to miss it, but told Kevin he would go answer.

To his surprise, what met him at the door was a very tense little girl; he recognised her instantly as one of the neighbour's children that lived 2 floors down- The Santiagos. They were a relatively quiet neighbour, and Holt could respect their strict appreciation of binders and schedules.

Looking down, Holt felt that this young girl was clearly very put together; she held a book bag to her chest tightly- despite the fact that it was the summer holidays and school was not on- and was looking up at him with a very shaky determination. 

"Greetings, Ms Santiago" He allowed politely.

"Umm-" She began nervously, "Good evening, Officer Holt" 

"What brings you here at this time?" He prods

"W-well, I- you see" Amy laughs nervously, "I just wanted to- I-"

He waits patiently until eventually she takes a deep breath, steeling herself. 

"I'd like to talk about Jake's dad!" 

This takes Raymond completely by surprise, and he allows the corners of his lips to tighten in confusion. 

"He's-" She starts, "He's no good for Jake" 

He opens his mouth for a question, but she ploughs on without letting him.

"He doesn't care about him; not _really"_

And then, as though she's letting him in on something top secret, Amy leans forward and whispers gravely,

"I don't think he'll stick around for very much longer"

"Raymond? Who's at the door?" Kevin calls, and Holt turns to look at him.

When he turns back around to introduce the girl at the door, he finds she has already walked away. 

* * *

The following Monday, Raymond was walking home from his shift at the station with a measured pace. He was in no real rush to get home, as things between him and Kevin had been a little tense lately.

This proved to be a good thing, as he found himself walking past the bench in front of the deli much later than usual, and, to his great surprise, he found Jake sitting there, nibbling on a hot dog soberly. 

"Jacob?" Holt asked carefully, watching as the boy looked up at him slowly with a vaguely confused, but profoundly sad expression. 

"Officer Holt?" Normally, Jake brightened upon seeing Raymond randomly in the streets (a fact that pleased the man to no end, he was reluctant to admit), but today, he seemed just surprised.

"What are you doing sitting here alone? It's almost _9_ _?"_ It was indeed late, and uncomfortably dark for a little boy to be out alone in Brooklyn. 

"Oh, well, I'm not alone" Jake offered tentatively, before offering Holt a large, weak grin, "M'just waiting for my dad to come back"

Holt didn't let his face betray his wariness.

"And, he said he would, indeed, come back?"

The young boy gave a soft nod.

"Did he say when?" 

"Oh" He shuffled his feet together sheepishly, being short enough that they dangled off the bench and didn't reach the floor.

"Well, _no_ ; he just said to wait here and that he'd be back soon"

And then, Jake added, as though making sure Holt was aware, "He gave me a hot dog" 

"Has he done this before?"

"Gave me a hot dog?"

"No" Holt says, with an unimpressed turn of his lips, "Left you alone outside when it's dark"

Jake doesn't answer and his eyes shuffle down warily to the police logo on Holt's uniform. It's an impressive show of intelligence for an 11 year old, but it makes Raymond's stomach churn with unpleasantness. 

"I'm not going to get your dad in trouble, Jacob" He tries, and Jake nods but still says nothing. 

Glancing up at the rapidly darkening sky, and the little boy sitting in front of him, Holy makes a quick second decision. 

"Stand up" He says, not sternly, but decisively, "We are leaving"

"Where are we going?" Asks Jake, he sounded suspicious, but got up off the bench obediently.

"We are going back to the apartment" 

_Home,_ he'd been tempted to say, but that seemed inappropriate.

Jake smiled up at him, almost shyly, and Holt took the half eaten hot dog out of his hand to throw in the bin.

He frowned when he felt it was not warm in his hand; it seemed the food had long gone cold before Holt had arrived.

* * *

Kevin had been surprised when Raymond had come home with Jake in tow.

Though he'd long since gotten used to having the boy over, he'd imagined the boy was going to be too busy with his father everyday for the foreseeable future and wouldn't need them to look over him anymore.

Kevin can't say he's disappointed to have him over, but there is an unpleasant feeling clawing at his stomach today.

Raymond had explained why he had dragged the little boy home, and it didn't sit well with either of them to know that Roger Peralta had been content leaving his boy alone in the dark for an extended amount of time. 

Looking down at the small boy, who was currently tucked in asleep on the sofa, Kevin couldn't imagine why anyone would endanger such a fragile thing. 

"I don't like this, Raymond" He told his husband softly, making sure to keep his voice low for the sleeping child, "I think you were right not to trust his father" 

* * *

Later into the night, there's a frantic, angry knock on the door, one both Kevin and Holt decide to answer together.

At the door is Karen, Jake's mother, and there is a furious look in her eyes. Her hair is frazzled and untidy, and one of the buttons on her waitress blouse is done up wrong, and what's worse is that there's a ketchup stain on her sleeve.

"Where is he?" She demands, "Is he here?" 

They look at her warily, but she pushes passed them before they say anything and spots Jake asleep on the sofa. There's a tension in her shoulders that dissipates, and she exhales a relieved sigh.

"How dare you?" She hisses, spinning round on them, "Who do you think you are?"

"Karen" Holt begins tentatively, raising his arms, placating, in a way that Kevin knows he reserves mostly for dangerous criminals and panicked victims, "Calm down; let us discuss this"

But, she hears none of it.

" _No,_ how dare you?" And her voice has grown in volume, and Jake stirs on the sofa, "You had no right to take Jake without mine or Roger's permission! He called me just an hour ago thinking that he'd _lost_ Jake!" 

There was so much emotion in her voice, and she clearly had much to say, because she didn't let either of them get a word in as she derailed.

"You think you can just steal my son from a side walk bench and take him home _whenever_ it pleases you?" 

"Karen, calm down; we're sorry, we meant to call" 

" _You shouldn't have needed to!_ " She howls

"I found Jacob sitting alone and cold on a bench in the evening; it was fast approaching darkness, and I wasn't comfortable leaving him there!" 

"That's not your call to make!" 

Holt could feel a fury begin to build in his veins, and he bit back the uncivilised urge to bare his teeth at her in a snarl. He had never taken Karen for a prideful woman, it seemed as though she was always okay with putting her dignity aside for a helping hand, especially when it came to Jake and his well-being;clearly he had been wrong.

"We would never have had to do it, if _Roger_ hadn't left him alone in the first place; it seems to me he needs to re-evaluate all that is required of him"

Karen really does snarl at this, and balls her fists at her sides in a white knuckled grip.

"You don't know anything about our family; you don't get to look down and _judge_ us, what is wrong-"

"Mama?" Comes the groggy, sleep-filled voice of Jake, who was looking at his mother warily. 

Instantly, as though a switched had been clicked, she turns to her son and all the furious tension in her posture dissipates.

"Jakey-boy" She coos in her familiar sing-song-y voice, "Jake"

"Why are you shouting at Officer Holt and Kevin?" 

Her eyes widen slightly, and she shuffles over to him to bend down and rub his arms. 

"Don't worry about that, baby" She soothes gently, "Come, honey, we're going home" 

She grabs her sons hand without prompt, before storming over to the doorway with him. He is clearly still sleepy and confused, and his feet shuffle clumsily on the ground to try and keep up with her quick stride as she drags him.

At the doorway she turns to them, and the fury from before flashes briefly in her eyes.

"Stay away from my son" She says, "You're not his parents"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was pleasantly surprised when I got such warm responses from the original Brooklyn nine nine one-shot I wrote in this universe. I had actually never written a one-shot before, and also not anything for B99 either, but it made me smile whenever I saw a comment pop up in my inbox, or when I saw the number of kudos increase.
> 
> It inspired this mess anyway, which I'm sorry for. It's in 2 parts, so there's that!


	2. Chapter 2

Kevin was only just returning from a lonely shopping trip, his bags weighing down on his fingers in an uncomfortable fashion, when he heard a loud shush followed by a clang coming from the Peralta's apartment. 

Squinting forward slightly, he could see that their door was open, and that at the mouth of it sat a small, purple bike. A bike he knew to be owned by the Linetti girl that lived just beside them.

The closer he got, the more clearly he could hear a series of violent whispers.

"I think we're supposed to turn the oven on _before_ putting the pizza in" Came a droning, high-pitched voice; it was unmistakably the Gina girl, who had probably left the door open in her haste to get inside. 

Beside her, Kevin found upon peering in, Jake stood with an uneasy frown. He had both his arms held in fists at his waist, in that stern way only children did, and he was bent over looking into the mouth of his oven.

"Are you sure? I feel like if we open the oven whilst it's on, the house will explode or something!"

"Don't be stupid, Jake, the house won't _explode-_ if anything, your kitchen will probably set on fire" Gina sounded so completely sure of herself, despite how the kitchen most definitely wouldn't set on fire, and Jake clearly trusted her opinion a lot, since he nodded seriously and asked her what she thought they should do.

It felt eerily as though Roger had never even existed, and they'd been transported to weeks ago, back when Jake was left at home alone for extended periods of time, and Gina remained his only company. 

Kevin could almost imagine the voice of his husband in his ear, becoming distinctly outraged.

_'Why did Karen decide not to ask us to babysit? Clearly Roger isn't here to do the job!'_

"There's a fire extinguisher in the hallway; there's one on every floor" Said Gina, "Go get it, and we can use it if the kitchen actually does catch on fire" 

"Too bad the microwaves broken; _everyone_ knows how to use a microwave" 

Jake's voice was growing steadily louder, and Kevin realised with a start that he was heading for the doorway. 

Suddenly realising he didn't want to be caught eavesdropping, Kevin turned quickly towards his door and walked quickly down the hallway.

"Hi Kevin" Came a shy voice behind him, just as he'd taken his keys out to head inside.

Kevin turned, and saw Jake with the fire extinguisher very badly hidden behind his back. The boy had both his hands holding onto it, and so was trying to perform some kind of odd shake of his elbow, presumably in the place of a wave.

Kevin allowed himself a courteous nod of his head, and looked up just in time to see the hopeful smile on Jake's face. His hair was starting to fall dangerously close to his eye, and Kevin could see the edges curling over the boys ears in what was a clear warning for a haircut. 

There was also an old stain on the front of his shirt- a shirt that Kevin had seen him wear for 3 days in a row now. 

It all added to up to a particularly undignified image, but it endeared Kevin to the child in a way that worried him.

He'd offer to wash an armful of Jake's clothes, or cut his hair for him, but Kevin knew that it would be completely out of place now. Karen hadn't so much as thrown a glance at Raymond and him since she'd stormed out unceremoniously with Jake at her tail. 

It wasn't his place he knew, so Kevin allowed himself a final glance at Jake, and then turned back to go inside.

"Kevin! Wait!" 

It seemed his slight nod had encouraged the boy, so Kevin scolded himself the indulgence.

"Jacob" He allowed, but made sure to keep both syllables of the name on the same low tone in a way he hoped sounded cold. He could see, having fully rotated himself to face down the hallway, that Jake had dropped the fire extinguisher on the ground with a _clang_ and was hurrying down the hall towards Kevin. 

"Kevin!" He said again, lost for words. He reached a few feet away, and stopped suddenly, unsure. Taking a few more careful, slow steps the boy finally opened his mouth 

"I wanted-I, umm, I-"

"Yes?"

"Do-umm, do you think I could come round, tomorrow?" 

Kevin was truly shocked to have gotten the question, and looks down at Jake carefully. 

"And your father? Won't he want to spend time with you tomorrow?" 

Jake's eyes widen slightly.

"Yeah, well, err" He looks down, biting his lip slightly, "He-well, my dad says that he's got important stuff to do some days, sometimes" After a beat, "And some nights" He adds.

Kevin says nothing; could tell by the strained expression on Jake's face that the boy wasn't done.

"But, he might be here tomorrow! If he's not though, do you think I could come over?" 

After a few painful beats, Kevin turned towards the door and picked up the bags of groceries he'd left in front of his door. 

"Maybe not yet, Jacob" He said regretfully, and pushed his way inside.

* * *

"I didn't want to upset Jake" said Kevin, just as Raymond and he were preparing for bed, "But, it's all I could do to turn him down"

"Yes, of course" Raymond replied, soberly.

"It's not as though I _enjoyed_ disappointing the boy"

"I understand that"

"It wouldn't have been appropriate"

"Right"

"We definitely could never let the boy back inside without his mother's permission"

"Mm"

"It was foolish of us to have ever done it before!" 

Kevin was certain that if Raymond and he ever let Jake over at their house without explicit allowance, Karen could risk reporting them for kidnapping, or something equally as serious. 

Not that he was afraid they'd go to prison- there was almost nothing incriminating about washing a neglected boy's dirty clothes or offering him lessons in chess- but, he knew how the rumours might spread. Being one of the only two openly gay people along their street, Raymond and Kevin knew more than anyone the way that veins of hate ran. 

Fingers would definitely be pointed at them, and people would take this as proof that homosexuality was some kind of cover for predatory old men to prey on little boys. It was a worryingly common accusation, and one they didn't want to encourage. 

"We've worked so hard to build a reputation here, with everyone at the university; at the precinct"

Raymond sighed as he pulled the covers up to slip into bed.

"I just wish Karen would give thought to what's best for _Jake,_ instead of nursing her pride" 

"Raymond?" Kevin said, warily.

"She'd rather her son be left alone to fend for himself, than face the fact that she made a mistake trusting his father"

Kevin was shocked to hear Raymond speak so openly and _rudely_ , especially to a woman he had always claimed to respect. It was completely out of character, and scared Kevin somewhat to see how quickly his husband changed in his urge to protect the boy.

"She needs to take responsibility, and step up; either she's Jake's mother, or she's Roger's clandestine _mistress"_

_"Raymond!"_

_"What?"_

"Don't let your emotions cloud your better judgement, Raymond" Kevin cut in, "I refuse to become gossiping degenerates who talk ill of people behind their backs!"

Raymond looked suitably scolded, a light contemplative frown dancing at the corners of his mouth.

"I'm sorry, Kevin; perhaps, you're right"

"Besides" Kevin added after a beat, "She was right to pull Jake away" 

Raymond sat up straight from where he'd been halfheartedly attempting to read a book before bed.

"What do you mean?" 

"Maybe we _were_ too forward with the boy"

Raymond mad an affronted sound, and made to open his mouth.

"I just mean that we shouldn't have tried to be quite so..." Kevin trailed off, tilting his head slightly in an uncharacteristic show of emotion.

"So?"

"So... _involved"_

"How do you mean?"

"Oh, don't pretend you don't understand, Raymond" Huffed Kevin, "Planning _meals_ around the boy, changing shifts at the precinct so there'd always be someone home to care for him, all those lessons in etiquette!"

Kevin was getting worked up, which was embarrassing. He took a deep, stabilising breath and lowered his voice to something purposefully softer than the hiss he felt like.

"We were even talking about having me drop a class at the university so that I could pick Jacob up from school when it started back up!"

Raymond regarded Kevin for a moment, and then deliberately turned back to his book.

"I told you it wasn't necessary, it was _you_ who even suggested it"

"That's not the _point_ , Raymond" Said Kevin, his voice louder than he had meant, "Maybe we shouldn't try and convince Karen to give up _her_ child to us, somehow"

"She can't even take care of him properly herself! He spends half his time completely alone in that flat!"

"Yes, well, it's none of our business, really- what are you going to do? Build a case against her for child neglect, and gain _custody_ of the boy!"

"It would be better than doing _nothing_ "

"Right! And traumatise the boy even more on the way, then! Take him away from his mother, who, _despite_ what you claim, _loves_ and _cares_ for him!"

"We can't just allow him to be raised like this!"

" _It's not our place, Raymond!_ " Kevin hissed, "We're acting as though we're his _parents"_

No one said anything for a time, and Kevin assumed the conversation was over. He shifted in the bed and turned the light off on his side of the bed.

"Someone has to" Said Raymond, before shifting over to do the same.

The room was enveloped into darkness, but Kevin knew neither of them were going to fall asleep for a while.

* * *

The next day, Raymond and Kevin had seemed to reach an understanding; that they were not going to talk about Jake at all. 

It seemed to work for a while, and they bustled about quite naturally in the morning. They drank a glass of still water in the morning, with a breakfast of unsweetened porridge, and talked about the pipe that needed fixing, and whether it was worth the money to indulge in a vintage Isle Of Lewis chess set (it was not).

All through this, however, Raymond was growing steadily more bitter, and was making an effort not to make it noticeable. It was a losing game, though, as he absentmindedly set the spoon on the wrong side of his bowl, and Kevin gave him a wary, warning look. 

"I'm going to the precinct early" He said, haughtily, and got up to get properly dressed.

"Well" Kevin replied, "Alright"

His husband didn't say anything more, as Raymond shuffled his way to the bedroom. And, despite taking efforts to keep up appearance, Holt was itching desperately for Kevin to bring up the elephant in the room.

He said nothing more though, and instead went through the motions with a quiet determination.

Once dressed, Holt walked briskly to the door and wondered briefly, upon contact, whether to call out in affection to his husband before leaving, or ignore him entirely.

Feeling petty, he opened the door with as much force as he dared and left without further delay.

* * *

It certainly wasn't the first argument they'd ever had, and far from the loudest, but something about it felt bigger this time; bigger than themselves. They weren't disagreeing on a career step, or a math problem, or something equally as small; this was about a person. A child. Jake.

Something about Kevin's abrupt- albeit small- outburst last night felt like a betrayal to Raymond, like he'd given up on something the other had stuck his roots into. 

Raymond wasn't going to give up on Jake, like Kevin was suggesting. It seemed impossible to him now, turning away from the boy who'd crashed into him accidentally in the hallway all those weeks ago. 

Looking back, Holt imagines nothing could've stopped him from inviting Jake into his house that day. A boy who was the polar opposite of anyone Raymond ever consciously chose to associate with; who rides on borrowed bikes he rents impulsively with the only money he has for food, and who hides gummy bears under his pillow in case zombies come and take over the world. 

Perhaps, it didn't matter at all what Jake was like- whether he was at all the kind of person Holt spent time with, or something else entirely. Maybe- no matter what -there would always be a part of Raymond that would have latched onto that little boy sitting there in the hallway all alone. 

_"Oh, well, I'm not alone! M'just waiting for my dad to come back."_

And, in a world where everyone abandoned him, Holt knows he'd do everything he could to make sure Jake wasn't alone ever again. And, he'd do it with or without Kevin.

* * *

There was a cold silence left behind after Raymond stormed out.

Kevin sighed and got up to put the dishes in the sink; a stiff movement that took him much longer than it would've if anyone had been there to see.

At the sink, he put both his hands on either side of the basin and let his head hang, pushing a sharp breath out through his nose. It was angry sounding, but was truly just a testament to his exhaustion.

He shouldn't have said those things to Raymond. He'd always been the more emotional of the two of them, and would surely stay upset at Kevin.

This wasn't something Raymond would just let go of, and Kevin knew it. 

He saw it in the way his husband spoke about the boy, as though he'd always been a part of their lives. As though they were entitled to him, somehow, just because they'd given him a few meals and tucked him into bed once a fortnight for a month.

On the surface, it annoyed Kevin to have to hear Raymond build these shallow delusions of fatherhood. If he thought on it longer, though, Kevin could feel how truly devastated it made him, to see his own husband so desperate for the one thing they couldn't really have.

And though he had shielded himself by claiming his only objections with trying harder to get Jake back were purely logical, there was still an element of irrational fear underneath it all.

Perhaps, there was a small part of Kevin that was afraid that Raymond would grow to love this false parenthood too much. That he'd see this joke version of a normal family, and decide to abandon them both for the real thing.

It was, as was mentioned before, completely irrational.

For one, Kevin knew that Raymond was as gay as they came, and couldn't be in a straight relationship long enough to hold a woman's hand, let alone breed with one.

And, of course, he also knew that they loved each other completely, and that neither of them had any plans to abandon the other.

It was a testament to the truly twisted way the human mind worked, that even after both those sureties were already known to Kevin, he still couldn't shake the fear.

Though Kevin had grown truly fond of Jake, Raymond was clearly much more protective.

 _I'm jealous of an 11 year old_ , he thought.

With one final mental kick to himself, Kevin lifted his head and started on the dishes.

* * *

After Holt came home, he and Kevin shared an awkward shuffle around their apartment, avoiding each other's gazes and frowning into their respective non-fiction novels on the sofa.

Neither of them wanted to break the fragile silence, and risk what was sure to be another argument, but the tension was thick.

It grew steadily more unbearable, and after a few tight minutes, Holt got up with a huff.

"I'm going to take the bins out" He said, curtly.

Kevin gave a slight nod, and watched Holt leave with an inscrutable expression.

Outside in the hallway, however, Raymond heard- just as he closed the door with a soft thud- the sound of quiet crying.

A small, worried noise hummed at the corner of his mind, but he made sure not to vocalise it.

Dropping the bins just outside the apartment, Raymond walked carefully down the hallway towards the sound.

Sure enough, just as he reached the slightly ajar door of the Peralta flat, he spotted a small hunched figure sniffling and shaking at the foot of it.

"Jake?" He offered tentatively, and watched as Jake's head snapped up suddenly, with such force it was a wonder he didn't crack something.

"Officer Holt?"

"Why are you crying on the floor, Jake?"

There was a tense moment when Raymond feared the 11 year old would evade the question.

"He's gone" he heard, however. A mere whisper, said through the lens of a shaky, young hand.

Raymond frowned in surprise.

"Your father?" He asked.

A slight nod.

"Alright" He said, steadily.

"He didn'-didn't even want to say goodbye" Jake hiccuped, "He tried to leave when I was sleeping"

There's another tense silence. Holt had no idea what to say.

"Wait here"

And, with a familiar determination that he reserved usually only for work, Raymond steeled himself with a slight tightening of his lips and went back into his apartment.

"Kevin" He called, "Kevin, come here"

"Is something the matter, Raymond?" came the careful voice of his husband, and all of their arguments and grudges melted away in Holt's head at the sight of his husband, a constant calm in any storm.

"It's Jake" He says.

There was a certain amount of openness that shut off in Kevin's expression at those words, and if he had hackles, they would most definitely have raised. Raymond panicked; he wanted Kevin to forget their argument for a second.

"Roger's gone" He added, somewhat frantically (for their standards).

"He _what?_ " 

"Jake's upset" he adds, "I don't know what to do"

"Raymond, I don't-"

"Please"

Raymond watched carefully as various things happen on Kevin's face at one time. His eyebrows relaxed somewhat, but his lips pulled down more. There was a plate in his jaw that shifted, and set; clenched.

"Alright, help me with the toaster, then" 

* * *

Jake sniffled faintly in the absence that Officer Holt left. 

He hoped that the man wouldn't be long, because Jake didn't really want to be alone anymore.

After a few minutes passed though, he started to feel like maybe Mr Holt wasn't coming back, and had left too. 

The empty feeling in his chest expanded and dropped as a weight in his stomach; his nose started to sting, as fresh new tears pricked in the corners of his eyes.

 _I have no one,_ thought Jake, pulling his face down into his knees.

He was interrupted, however, by the sound of a soft clink by his legs. Looking up, halfway because he was jump-scared by the clank sound, Jake saw at his feet, a single unassuming plate with a steaming pop-tart on it.

"Perhaps it will make you feel better" Said Kevin, with a meaningful look. 

And then, in a way that was really weird for them, Jake watched on- transfixed- as Kevin and Officer Holt slid down the wall of apartment hallway opposite him, and sat tensely on the floor.

They stared at each other for a second, until Jake looked down and let his knees drop, taking the plate onto his lap.

He dared not look up at them, as he nibbled halfheartedly on the pop-tart.

"We can't invite you into our flat" Kevin continued, carefully, "We don't wish to upset your mother"

"I know" Jake mumbled.

"That doesn't mean we don't want you there" 

"Really?" he asked hopefully.

Looking up, finally, Jake could see Kevin and Officer Holt were looking at each other. They turned to him, though, and both offered small nods, which Jake knew was a very big sort of nod for them.

"Maybe, I could talk to my mum" he offered, tentatively.

Officer Holt squeezed Jake's ankle slightly.

"How about we talk to her altogether" he said, "All _3_ of us"

Jake sniffed feebly, and felt the big empty feeling dissipate slightly.

"Okay" He said finally, and took a big, messy bite of his pop-tart.


End file.
